Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
