Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
