My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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