sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize