Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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