i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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