ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
