Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
