the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
