just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
