I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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