it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize