I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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