4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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