yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
