plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
