A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
