I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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