I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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