we have officially lost it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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