Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize