I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
