saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...