Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.