Ambien. No doubt about it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How external is "for external use only"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.