If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law