He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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