I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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