I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
