Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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