If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
