He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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