Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
