What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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