If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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