i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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