Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
