I hate all girls vehemently.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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