Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
