so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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