i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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