I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
