His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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