Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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