Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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