I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
