she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
