Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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