Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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