Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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