i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
