but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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