sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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