Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
