I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
