just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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