I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
