You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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