Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
