Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
