Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize