i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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