Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
